one year anniversary of ronnie's death

My church asked me to write a devotional for their weekly newsletter during Lent. I had just come back from the beach with Matt, where we went to get away for the first anniversary of Ronnie's death. Here is what I wrote, if you're interested:

Last week I sat on Jekyll Island’s Driftwood Beach with my husband Matt. It was so chilly, windy, and not great beach weather, but we weren’t going to cancel our plans to be there that morning. It was the one-year anniversary of our daughter’s death, who was born still on Easter morning. We listened to the song Oceans and I reflected on the last year. I could picture myself in those waves, flailing and crashing around without my feet firmly planted. It was a whirlwind year, with my emotions ranging around from denial to numbness to anger to despair and then back again.

The trees on Driftwood Beach have been there so long, and are anchored in the sand. They aren’t going anywhere, even with the unpredictable crashing of the waves. Our God is like these trees – he’s the same yesterday, today, and forever. He’s not going anywhere. If that is hard to believe, just think of the commitment he gave us by sacrificing His son on the cross.

For those hard times when we feel like we are flailing, we need to hold onto God’s deep roots, when we don’t feel we have deep roots ourselves. Let’s remember that this Easter season.

Have your roots planted deep in Christ. Grow in Him. Get your strength from Him. Let Him make you strong in the faith as you have been taught. Your life should be full of thanks to Him. – Colossians 2:7-9

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