joy to the world

MOM: did you get the tequila out?
MOM: the dogs r probably hot and need a drink.
ME: You give the dogs tequila?
MOM: oh… I meant water
ME: You cant type “tequila” and actually mean water
MOM: ahem, autocorrect

ME: hey sorry i missed your call the other day. I tried to check my voicemail and i didnt have a message from you. Whatsup? 
GRANDMA: hoping u would be able 2 find time 2 get my christmas wreath down from attic. I dont want anyone to think im an atheist! Thanx 

MOM: gonna go out hunting or just take a nap out in the woods

This post is sad but true.

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