perm mullet


Me: You don’t happen to do make-up too, do you? 
Uncle: Only if you want to look like a hooker 

Mom: I wanted to send you ice cream in your care package but your dad said no. 

Me: knock knock 
Mom: Who’s there? We had to leave dinner and miss the movie to take your grandmother to the hospital. 

Dad: next week if you see a strange mountain man cleaning up the sides of our house I hired him 
Dad: his name is Happy 

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