mom: your father found the chocolate I hid 
me: wait what? why did you hide it? 
mom: he is getting fat I hid it in taco kit and now he is running around screaming how could you do this to me and waving taco kit 
mom: ps when you get home there is mnm’s in ur bookshelf dont tell him unless emergency 

MOM: Watching house hunters. Young couple newlyweds. She has 2 turtles. She takes them with her everywhere. She asked them what they thought of new home. She took them on a picnic to decide which home. As an observer, He is not happy. Marriage 1 year at most.  

MOM: If I get reincarnated as a cat, I still won’t eat my vomit. 

Mom: How do i get sound on facebook. 

Me: So what kind of phone did you get pops? 
DAD: I got the free iphone4 and love it 
Me: Awesome! They are really easy to use and pretty helpful. Too bad you didnt get the 4s Siri is pretty nice Dad: I already have two women telling me what to do 

MOM: What does it mean when the icons on my ipod are doing the Harlem Shake? 

Mom: Just figured out. Dads a visionary dancer. He’s been doing Gangam style for years. 

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