grossest cake i've ever seen


ME: thinking of dropping my educational technology class, thoughts? 
DAD: drop it like it’s hot 

ME: You’re the best. 
DAD: You are. I’m just the mule pulling the cart of wonders (you kids). 

ME: Did you ever smoke while you were pregnant with me? Be honest 
MOM: No 
(5 minutes later) 
MOM: fine I had wine and a cig at my internship going away party and vomited into my briefcase on the train on the way home. Nice memory. 

MOM: Yep. College not closed except for specific MLB event hours. 11:30 and 4:30 or somesuch. MOM: Mlk. Autocorrect is racist. 

MOM: On th wayy bak frm reunion be hoome son. 
ME: Are you texting while you’re driving? 
MOM: Yur fatherrr is drving im tryng to drnk my roadie

No comments: