grossest cake i've ever seen


ME: thinking of dropping my educational technology class, thoughts? 
DAD: drop it like it’s hot 

ME: You’re the best. 
DAD: You are. I’m just the mule pulling the cart of wonders (you kids). 

ME: Did you ever smoke while you were pregnant with me? Be honest 
MOM: No 
(5 minutes later) 
MOM: fine I had wine and a cig at my internship going away party and vomited into my briefcase on the train on the way home. Nice memory. 

MOM: Yep. College not closed except for specific MLB event hours. 11:30 and 4:30 or somesuch. MOM: Mlk. Autocorrect is racist. 

MOM: On th wayy bak frm reunion be hoome son. 
ME: Are you texting while you’re driving? 
MOM: Yur fatherrr is drving im tryng to drnk my roadie


golden globe best and worst dressed

Helen Hunt
Anne Hathaway
Jessica Alba
Melissa Rauch
Megan Fox
Lea Michele
Amy Adams
 Best dressed goes to Francesca Eastwood:
Worst dressed:
Lucy Lu
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss