MOM: Idk how to request your dad as a friend
DAD: Ur in got tix for the cho cho
ME: Yaaaay!! choo choo!
DAD: Calm dow, it’s just a train. Act like u been on one before.
DAD: I am learning how to pose like Posh its in this weeks People.
ME: I was just wondering if you ever miss me
DAD: I miss you all of the time except on Tuesday nights when I want to watch NCIS and on Fridays when i watch Blue Bloods
MOM: I saw the christmas pictures. The fat suits you!
ME: oh..thanks mom for telling me I’m fat.
MOM: I MEANT HAT the HAT SUITS YOU MOM: This thing doesnt write what I tell it to!
MOM: you are beautiful!