MOM: Idk how to request your dad as a friend 

DAD: Ur in got tix for the cho cho 
ME: Yaaaay!! choo choo! 
DAD: Calm dow, it’s just a train. Act like u been on one before. 

DAD: I am learning how to pose like Posh its in this weeks People. 

ME: I was just wondering if you ever miss me 
DAD: I miss you all of the time except on Tuesday nights when I want to watch NCIS and on Fridays when i watch Blue Bloods 

MOM: I saw the christmas pictures. The fat suits you! 
ME: oh..thanks mom for telling me I’m fat. 
MOM: I MEANT HAT the HAT SUITS YOU MOM: This thing doesnt write what I tell it to! 
MOM: you are beautiful!

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