MOM: ok tried taking pics of the cats but they were hissing at me
ME: Huh?? What cats??
MOM: I grew you in my stomach for nine months and then heaved you out! It was gruesome. And this is show you repay me.
ME: Mom, what did I do?!
MOM: You know what your offense is.
ME: No seriously what?
MOM: I can’t even talk to you right now.
ME: Mom? What?!
MOM: You ate the last brownie when I had clearly marked it as mine. You know how much it meant to me.
DAD: Your aunt sent me a Christmas card in case you’re interested.
DAD: You know…your moms sister, Sherry.
DAD: She hasn’t prettied up any either.
ME: She sent a picture?
ME: What are y’all doing tonight?
MOM: Dad has a dinner I will rock out at barnes and noble I think
ME: Can butter be substitued with stick margarine when making banana bread?? I got the wrong kind.
MOM: Probably? I would go for it! YOLO!!!