dear fish, will you dance with me?


Siri problems:
ME: Heard you got an iPhone!! 
GRANDAD: Talk later thank you so much for the Volvo enjoyed it somewhat I’m just starting on rolling with the for example about first words on thank you and see you with 

 ME: Overheard in the voting line: “I was an oops child.” 
MOM: :( 
ME: I can relate. 
MOM: You were a yay! child so stop it. 

DAD: Call your mom 
ME: Why? 
DAD: Just kidding we r drunk 
ME: What is happening? 
DAD: Nothing. We were watching honey boo boo and was letting u know ME: And ur drunk watching honey boo boo at Shabbat dinner? 
DAD: It’s a new thing we do. It’s called “shabooboo” 

ME: In other news marijuana is legal in Colorado! 
MOM: Well, want to go skiing? 
ME: Yes please :) 
MOM: Ask Dad if it can be our next family ‘trip’. ;) 

MOM: I love you, Lizzy! 
ME: This is Catherine, your other daughter :) 
MOM: Oh, whoops! Well then never mind. 

MOM: Does anyone listen to lil john anymore? i still love him 
ME: no not really.. 
MOM: to the windowsssss to the wallss 
ME: do you know the real version of that song? 
MOM: yes i act like it doesnt exist cause its dirty. i like clean one. dont hate little girl. 
ME: youre killin me
MOM: make me a cd with that song on there. gotta go dads gonna watch soap opera w me. yay! 

ME: Are you ok after storm? 
DAD: Mid placedy gasses so I can Molotov read ur text.

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