honky tonk weekend

DAD: I just got a twitter. #twitter.
ME: Thats great dad! How many followers do you have?
DAD: People follow me? #COOL
ME: Yeah…. You don’t need to use a hashtag on everysentence.
DAD: What’s that? #mydaughterconfusesme
ME: This thing: #
DAD: But I’m tweeting! #twitter
ME: No we’re texting…

DAD: Mom bought an outfit in a “Big Ladies” store, and they are having a going out of business sale.
DAD: Does that mean there are fewer big ladies, or does it mean they have less money to spend, or does it mean they have just given up on buying clothes? 

MOM: What do u want for lunch? 
ME: whatevers fine 
MOM: Want mexican thing you ate b4? 
ME: what? 
MOM: kay suh di ya 
ME: ….quesadilla??? 
MOM: Yes. 

ME: Magic Mike wasn’t very good. 
MOM: That’s not possible! 

ME: Hi mom! This is called a text message! To respond, press the number with the desired letter on it until it shows the letter on screen :) (one day later) 
MOM (VIA EMAIL): You don’t even want to know how many days it took me to figure out how to unlock the screen. 

ME: What day of the week was I born on? 
MOM: I thought sat or sun I will check. I was there but wasnt really thinkin bout the day it was
Have a great weekend! We're off to Nashville!

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