when padres text

Off to Miami with Matt...everyone have a great weekend and stay cool! 

MOM: You and 50 cents have the same birthday! 
DAD: I see that you are in Ravenclaw house. And you didn’t tell me? I can’t believe my own daughter wouldn’t tell me that she’s a witch and not a muggle. That makes me so mad. Have you gotten your wand yet? I bet you have. This just goes to show what trust will do. 
ME: ….What are you even talking about? 
DAD: I’ve been stalking you on facebook for the past 45 minutes. 

MOM: So we have no water til 6 a.m. Dad is in a panic about the toilet, so he dumped a bunch of ice in and dubbed it “the ice crapper.” 

DAD: Why don’t you come over for supper tonight? Bring your dog. Both mom and me will hug you till the cows come home. 
ME: Oh sorry Daddy I fell asleep! 
DAD: No problem. Just thinking about all the hugs I could have given you.

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