MOM: saw a gaggle of turkeys thought of you <3
MOM: Im making thee worst farts. if i had a dog it wld be plausible to blame the farts o n him.
MOM: We could go to the pool and sunbathe, maybe we should get penis too.
ME: HAHAHA penis?
MOM: OMG it changed pedicures to PENIS! That is scary!
MOM: Girls, I was watching The Doctors today and I just wanted to tell you to NEVER, NEVER, EVER sleep in a thong.
MOM: They were gonna throw out a ton of girls puberty packets so i tore them open and swiped all the pads and panty liners. I have hit rock bottom. LOL
MOM: HAhahahahahaha! sleigh bells ring..are u listening…in the lane snow is…argh!! just got splashed by the pool!!
ME: What are you doing?
MOM: ::–)) that’s a drunk smiley face…
MOM: Was simbas mate nala?
DAD: Mom here my first text ever no longer a text virgin
ME: Wooooow. How does it feel? Do you feel different?
DAD: I am glad i waited for the right person to have text with
DAD: pitboss on today show
ME: Oh, Pitbull?
DAD: he deserves a higher title like boss
DAD: who sings the ‘everbodys in the house this evening’ song
ME: I think you mean Party Rock. It’s by LMFAO.
DAD: let down. i was hoping it was pitboss.