funny fridays

MOM: Never put nutella on salmon….. 
MOM: ………It will cause salmonella……. 

MOM: Does a chicken have 4 or 2 legs? 
ME: what? 2? (three hours later) 
MOM: but how do they balance? their necks are too thick ME: mom, what? (30 minutes later) 
MOM: I don’t know what’s happening in nature 

ME: I got an A- in Adolescent Development…I barely did shit in that class 
MOM: Well you understood the nuances of adolescents 
MOM: They suck 

MOM: I had a dream that you married Michael Phelps last night. You need a tall boy with flipper like feet. 

MOM: Dad and Steve are getting so much done. They are like two rears and a rod. Steve is doing his thing, Dad is in amazement. 
ME: …do you mean “peas in a pod”? hahahahaha! 
MOM: oh… yes.

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