ME: Vas up
DAD: I typed nada and it auto corrected to nasa. But nasa is literally up so I didn’t correct.
ME: You wouldn’t happen to know where my credit card is would you?
DAD: On the computer table
ME: No that’s one of the temporary ones.
DAD: Then, no. Sorry, maybe if u cleaned your room u could find it ;). I hope that emoticon doesn’t mean penis orvagina.
ME: What are you and Dad doing this weekend?
MOM: I am in the shower as i text this i will let you know
ME: The doctor’s office messed up and sent me a blank sheet of paper.
DAD: Clean bill of health?
ME: I’ve seen two owls in two days.
MOM: Where? That is kind of amazing. Dad wants to know if they farted.
The best for last. Seriously, you will die laughing.