when parents text

DAD: I want grandchildren do something

ME: Today is Oreo’s 100th bday!
MOM: Who is oreo?

MOM: Your dad ate the restaurant fish in ingle wood and he shit on himself twice so don’t go there

ME: Yeah me too, but I think she’ll be good. I think the cast is a million times better than twilight at least.
MOM: But Bella has such an expressive face…
ME: hahahahahha good one
MOM: :| That’s my bella expression.

ME: Mom, I was accepted to the class in Japan!
MOM: I already saw that on Twitter. So 5 minutes ago.

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