MOM: in these ever changing times…..i have renamed the dog. Please refer to her as BEVERLY.
(two days later)
MOM: Bev and i went for a great walk today
DAD: Liv got me something called an app. U know what it is? :\ (my thinking face)
MOM: Will we see you this weekend?
ME: Yeah, Justin is doing my hair Saturday and my GRE is Monday morning.
MOM: Honey Badger don’t give a s.
MOM: Look at that sick.
MOM: Honey Badger don’t care. He’s hungry.
MOM: Look, it’s a cobra!
(five minutes later)
MOM: Your dad took my BlackBerry
MOM: what’s this about donating bone marrow and are there secret messages in Adam Levine’s tatoos?
DAD: What’s up bitches? Just saying hello. I think Kelly turns 15 tomorrow. I’m going to book the Champagne Room at the 40/40 club in AC. It’s owned by a popular rap musician named Jay-Z.