DAD: just got back from e.r. Smashed my finger, lots of stiches.
ME: ouch! How did you do that?
DAD: hammer time baby
MOM: do spanx come in double-wides for me?
MOM: I had a dream last night that johnny depp was a teeny tiny guy riding around me on a teeny tiny horse. Like woody and the horse in toy story. So crazy. We were just talking away!
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