funny fridays-8.12

DAD: just got back from e.r. Smashed my finger, lots of stiches.

ME: ouch! How did you do that?

DAD: hammer time baby

MOM: do spanx come in double-wides for me?

MOM: I had a dream last night that johnny depp was a teeny tiny guy riding around me on a teeny tiny horse. Like woody and the horse in toy story. So crazy. We were just talking away!